Random thoughts from people 30-40 years old…

I have been... neglecting this blog long enough. I am trying I have many ideas, but no time to put them into words. I'm sorry. This should be a good kick off. it was a forward - yes one of those - but a good'un. One of my favorites that I have seen bouncing around for a bit. Enjoy! I hope you all had a great holiday!


-I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

- More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.

- Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

- I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?

- Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

- That's enough, Nickelback.

- I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

- Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?

- Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

- There is a great need for sarcasm font.

- Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f was going on when I first saw it.

- I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little
bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.

- How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

- I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

- I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

-The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.

- A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.

- LOL has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

- I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

- Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.

- Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

- How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

- I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a prick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

- Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"

- What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

- While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

- MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

- Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

- I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

- Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

- I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

- Bad decisions make good stories..... Hellllooo college

- Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!

- Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier and sluttier every year?

- If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.

- Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....

- You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

- Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

- There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

- I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

- "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.

- I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and
leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'

- I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

- I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

- When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.

- I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

- Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...

- As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

- Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

- It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

- I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

-Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.

- Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time
every time...

- My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?

- It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.

- I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

- I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

- I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.

- The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people
eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard.

Adult - Type Top Ten

My friend, Dan came up with this survey, because he was tired of the 12 year old Myspace and Facebook surveys that don't really apply to adults. The words at the beginning are his (in italics). And other than the questions, the rest are mine.

I realize I have been doing a lot of survey lately, but I am having a bit of a mind block. I hope you forgive me. And what better way to get to know me?

Ever get tired of those online survey questionnaire bulletin-type things written by 12-year-olds who know NOTHING about life? They sometimes ask the same question, but in different ways, and they're usually questions that provide little or no insight into a person. I mean, who you got a text from last doesn't tell me much about you.

The trick is to ask a question that is simple enough to answer without it being too stupid of a question. It has to be one that you KNOW they will answer. Finally, it has to be a question whose answer will provide some interesting insight into the person who answers it. After all, I'm not on Facebook to throw apps around and tell you who sent me a text last. I want to LEARN something about YOU.

With that, I present to you... The Adult Top 10 Survey.

+++++++++++++

Adult Top 10 Survey

1. Did you move far away from your hometown? If so, how far away, and for how long? I lived in my hometown for 30 years. Occasionally, I would move out of the city, but I always came back. Until 2003. When my dad passed away, my mom decided that the house I grew up in was falling apart and shoe could no longer take care of it on her own. Most of her family lived in Vancouver, WA. I was unemployed, because I was still in recovery from a stem cell transplant. We made a few deals about what would happen when we moved, we packed it all up and moved around the corner from her sister. She has been in the same house. I have moved twice - one time down the street, and again to a suburb of Portland, OR with my husband.

2. Name one thing you really liked about your hometown, and one thing you did not. - I loved a lot of things about Huntington Beach. But I think the thing I loved the most - there was always something to do and someone to do it with. At anytime, I could just drive up and down the streets with my music blaring and a Diet Coke in hand, just people watching. Especially down by the pier. Or really late at night, driving through the canyons in Laguna Beach, just to relax. I could almost always find someone to shop with, go to a bar with, or just go over and visit. The one thing I didn't like so well was the expense. Granted, living at home for most of my life helped me out. But it was expensive to live there. Gas was more expensive. Getting into bars was more expensive. This is why I can't go back, no mater how much I want to.

3. Same question, but about your current location. Skip this if you never moved. - In Portland - people are nice. Not just trying to placate you nice, but genuinely nice. It's amazing. We thought people were crazy here when we first moved. There are people that are not so nice, but for the most part, it's nice to not feel uncomfortable when walking down the street, or asking for directions, or even having random people talk to you in the store. What I dislike - lack of jobs. I have harped on this over and over. But I have been looking for over a year and can't find anything. Since we have moved up here - 6 years ago, I have had 6 jobs. Compare that to having had 5 jobs in 17 years before that. And when in between lay offs, I have had a terrible time finding anything. Almost every job I have had here, I have been laid off. It's very unsettling and scary.

4. What do you do for a living, and how did you end up getting there? - I am currently unemployed and looking. I would prefer some sort of clerical, Admin assistant or data entry job. It took me a while to realize this, but I learned from my last job in Orange County that I love the stability, order, and thought process I would have with these jobs. My life has so much more order when I have a schedule in my work day, and when it's organized. I love it.

5. Most adults end up creating a hard life for themselves, complete with a mortgage, spouse, kids, bills, and so on. Why did YOU choose the hard life? -It's a challenge. While I may not seem to be the challenge type of person, I do welcome it. At the same time, it's a challenge. :-) My bills are a necessity. At this point, my whole life seems to be like this. I am in a constant struggle to not WANT everything. But because I am unemployed, I can only get what I need to survive. I have lists upon lists of things that I would like to have and do. I guess that's the challenge, though. To work harder to make more of my life. It makes living life more worthwhile.

6. Think about what you wanted to be when you were younger, and compare it to what you are now. Are you shocked? Surprised? Disappointed? How do you REALLY feel about where you've ended up? - I wanted to be a veterinarian or a musician. It changed once I realized I was bad in math and could stand the thought of putting an animal down. I am disappointed in some ways. Not shocked. I have been through so many changes and it's all been a learning experience - I wouldn't change it for the world. I would still love to work with animals or be a musician. But as far as both... I don't have the patience to learn more. Or the brain for it. I almost prefer to do it on my own time and not make a job out of it.

7. When life gives you lemonade, find someone to whom life has given vodka. Talk briefly about a NEGATIVE in your young life that you were able to turn around into a positive as an adult. - I was an only child. I am a fire sign. Some of you may not really take faith in astrology, but from doing my own charting, I've learned a lot and foundthat much of it is true. To be a fire sign and an only child means that you do some outrageous things to get attention. For me, it was imaginary friends, lying, cheating, being loud and being a cry baby - something was always wrong. When I was 27, my cry baby-ness worked in my favor. I found out I had cancer. I would not have realized it if I hadn't been trying to find something wrong. I knew I felt weird, but I couldn't find a reason for it. I finally told my parents. They sent me to a doctor. I became a different person after that. Sometimes I still slip back into my old ways, but for the most part, I have become a more positive person and I try to help people and bring some light into their lives.

8. We are technically adults (in some regard) when we turn 18. From there we make mistakes and learn. What was the most profound mistake you ever made, and describe what you learned from it. - I let a boyfriend control me. He controlled everything - what I did, who with, where I lived, my relationship with my parents, our relationship, what I ate. It was awful. And I did it for four years, not realizing that anything was wrong with that. It took me years upon years to make up for all of that. It was a huge blow to my ego, and I lost many friends in that time. I almost lost my family. I've learned what I don't want to have in my life. I have learned to be a more positive person, and love what I have. Don't let anyone run my life. That was abuse. I am a good person. With a big heart. It wasn't too late with my family, and I was able to make amends with my dad before he passed. I was able to salvage what I had left with my fiends. And now I appreciate them more than ever.

9. Today's world is hectic, busy, and sometimes scary. Name ONE thing that brings you happiness, and give a brief description about why this activity works for you. - My husband. Really. He is my life light. I had been almost suicidal before meeting him. He saved me from myself. I realize that isn't an activity, but loving him is. If I am upset or sad, I think of him and I say out loud, "I love that man. I love my husband." And I smile. Talking to him, hugging him, giving him kisses, cuddling with him - it all makes me feel relaxed and serene. He brings out the best in me. We have such fun together. We have no money, and our bills are always paid late, but I relax in his presence. It's really a wonderful feeling.

10. Since most of us went to school together, or are about the same age, describe your experience as it pertains to graduation day from high school. What did you do? Where did you go? What were you thinking? - I don't remember much from graduation (you know, the memory thing), but I remember being there. I remember the principal saying to me as he gave me my diploma envelope - "Wow you have quite the crowd cheering for you!" I did and I was surprised. I not only had the band people, my boyfriend and my parents, but several people in my class yelling and screaming for me. But I don't remember why. I remember crying when a classmate sang "One Moment In Time" because of relief, and sadness because I know that so many of these people - people that i had known since I was little - I would probably never see again.

After graduation, I had decided not to go to grad night because I couldn't bring my boyfriend. So, my parents took us out to dinner, bowling and miniature golf. It was a nice thing for my parents to do and they tried to do everything they could to make it memorable.

At the time, the plan was to go to school for a while and get married to the boyfriend. We broke up soon after that. I went to school, I became a supervisor at work, and I became a kind of party girl. A very different person than I was in high school.



But that's enough about me... How about you?

50 Things

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a blog post with 25 random things, facts, goals, or habits about you.

This is a meme that has been going around Face Book. So I cheated a litle and copied mine to here. It was supposed to be 25 things but I was tagged at least 20 times by different people. So, I did it twice. You are welcome to do this on your own blog, or just enjoy the strange things about me. :-)

1. I say inappropriate things at inappropriate times. It's a defense mechanism.

2. I'm a very obsessive person. I obsess about everything.

3. I am superstitious.

4. I love reading about ghosts, and I really like going to haunted places.

5. But, strangely, I'm afraid of the dark.

6. I constantly want to change my appearance.

7. I like to have a lot of projects on my plate.

8. I'm afraid of being stranded.

9. I love all things Disney.

10. I love almost all things Beatles.

11. I love music, but I am very particular about what I listen to.

12. I wish I could draw the things I see in my head, but I can't draw to save my life.

13. I love to learn new things. I would be a career student if I had the money.

14. I love to read. I am usually reading 3-4 books at a time. I constantly am having to change out my books because I can't get out of a bookstore for under $100.

15. I shop when I get depressed.

16. I wish I could have a house full of puppies.

17. I wish I could sing or do stand up comedy professionally.

18. I wish I could keep up with all my applications on Face Book.

19. I have become quite antisocial.

20. I miss drinking sometimes.

21. I love food. I love to cook it, to taste it, to smell it. I love to learn new recipes. I love baking.

22. I love to have plants everywhere, but I tend to kill them. I want a garden.

23. I miss going on random drives around town.

24. I want to travel.

25. I wish I could all my friends in one room so I can tell them all how much I love them.

26. I am addicted to True Crime, Urban Legends, forensics and books about serial killers. It's kind of sick, I know, but I find it fascinating.

27. Everyday, I wish I could call my dad and tell him random stuff or ask him questions about things. I miss him every day.

28. I am proud of my mom. She is one of my best friends, and she has been through so much. I am proud to have her as my mom, and my friend and I am proud of who she is as a person.

29. I love that Face Book has given me the opportunity to talk to so many people from my past that I don't know if I would have ever seen again. I have so many things to thank people for and apologize for. This gives me that opportunity.

30. I like having semi-monotonous jobs. Data entry is great for me because it gives some sort of order to my life.

31. I am a neat freak. It's just really hard to keep up on everything in the house. But at work, my desk and work area are spotless. Always.

32. I am most comfortable in jeans and a t-shirt and barefoot. But I have many personalities when it comes to clothes. I have a hippie style, a punk style, club style, office style. All kinds of stuff. And I wish, sometimes that people would still dress up to out - like to the movies, the "show," even to ride on an airplane. Remember when that was a big deal?

33. I wish I could take a decent picture. I seem to be terrible with a camera. And I really really envy those who can.

34. The only thing that I love about my memory loss is all the books and movies that I saw while I was sick, I can read and see again and they are all new!
35. I love sad movies. Sometimes, you just need a good cry, right?

36. I miss Southern California. A lot. I have withdrawals all the time. And such visual thoughts about going to places in Huntington Beach, whenever I am done with what I am doing - and actually think I will be doing it within the next hour or so.

37. I hate taking my blood sugar. I like going to the doctor to find out that whatever is wrong with me isn't just in my head.

38. I have terrible coordination. I wish I was more graceful.

39. I used to decorate cakes, but my wrists couldn't take it. But I still love to bake. I bake all the time. I love trying new recipes.

40. I am working really hard to become green. I don't use any chemicals in my cleaning products or my bath products. I make my own or buy the organic stuff that is approved for "green" usage. It really bothers me that people feel the need to drive Hummers. I even try to not use pre-packaged foods. I prefer to make it all on my own.

41. I love dogs. If I had the room and the money, I would operate a rescue out of my house. Or I would just keep them all and get a big ranch to house them all. Nothing like a puppy pile!

42. I think people tend to think I am annoying because of my health issues and how I talk about them. My health, both previously and currently, have a huge impact on my life. It's not something that I can just ignore. I feel like it has given me tons of knowledge, and I enjoy talking to people about it. If I can help just one person through what they are going through, or help them handle what their friends.family is going through, it's all worth it to me.

43. I love to counsel people. People have told me I should be a life coach or a shrink. I have often thought about both, but how can you coach someone when your own life is falling apart? Ok, falling apart may be the wrong word, maybe just messed up. But I love that people seek me out for advice or just to talk. It's hard to have the answers all the time, but I try.

44. I love to make people feel good. Especially if they look like they are feeling down. I always try to find the positive in people, and tell them what I like about them, even if they are complete strangers.

45. I truly try to be a good person.

46. I do not understand all the hate in the world. Live and let be, people!

47. I love to research things and people. I'll hear about something that is interesting to me and I will read as much as I can about it.

48. I love to write. I wish I was better and didn't get so distracted while doing it. I could have a book done by now!

49. I love to sing. I like to think I'm good, but it's more of a mimicry. I can mimic just about any song that I hear, but if I have to sing it by myself, I feel my voice sounds flat.

50. I wish I was a better musician. I wish I had the discipline that I had in high school to practice. I have a brand new bass guitar that I have only tried to play a couple of times. I really need to work on it some more.

I hope you enjoy my list. It was fun to write. And I hope that I didn't do the same things twice. Ha! :-)

Diabetic Rockstar - A Review

I was asked by the admins on Diabetic Rockstar to write a review and was encouraged to post it on my blogs. So, here it is...

I am Diabetic. I was left with little to no information on how to handle and treat my disease. First, I ate whatever I wanted. Then I ate a Low Carbohydrate diet. When none of these was really working for me, I consulted the internet. I subscribed to health blogs, I subscribed to Diabetes blogs. I found some of these helpful, and some not so helpful. Many of them catered to Type 1 – which I am not. The Type 2's that were written about were the people over 60, and I didn't fall into that category either. And then I went on insulin. I was led to believe that now that I was on insulin, I was a Type 1, but nothing that was written seemed to apply to me. I was very confused.

Enter an interview with Christopher Thomas on the Diabetes Mine blog by Amy Tenderich on October 1, 2008. Christopher was promoting and discussing his website, Diabetic Rockstar. It's basically a social networking site for people with Diabetes. Their motto is: Live Life Like a Rockstar. From my point of view, that was something that I could understand.

I immediately went to check it out. I signed up as soon as I looked around. No stranger to the other social networking sites, I took this one with a grain of salt at first. The more time I spent on there, the more I wanted to be in these people's lives. There is an incredible amount of support. People have made friends and have jokes between them. I have yet to see flaming or any kind of rudeness happen. The admins welcomed me within days via comments and made me feel right at home.

Since I joined, I have had the opportunity to really look around the site with much more detail. I am consistently amazed by how well it is run, and how kind and generous people are. There are forum boards, there are a few weekly chats, groups, the list just goes on and on. Every day is like finding something new. I have joined several forums, which have quite a variety of topics – from Pets, quitters, mom's, tattoos and even regional ones. It's a great place to ask for advice or even just to vent. I have seen comments relating to treatment in the workplace, things to talk to your doctor about, and just general support. There are people of all age groups, so you get a nice rounding out of experience. Just reading some of the responses and questions, I have learned much about my disease.

Another fantastic thing that is included on this site: fund raisers. And not just fund raisers, there are cruises, Guitar Hero competitions, tattoo designs, fake tattoos, stickers, clothes, the list is endless. I haven't been able to attend any of the fund raisers, but I am thinking of holding my own in the Portland, Oregon area. Within the last few months, Diabetic Rockstar became tax exempt for for operating as a full charity. The even have a listing for donations of diabetic supplies, where if you really can't afford your own for whatever reason, and you ask, you will be sent one by the management.

There is so much going on in this website, I can't possibly list it all, so I suggest that you check it out. I have recommended it to all my diabetic friends and family and they, too love it. I really commend Christopher on having such an incredible idea and making it come to life and it works! There is a very loyal following. Please, check out Diabetic Rockstar and have a great time meeting new people, learning new things and sharing your experience with us.

Hauntings

I know this is a bit late for Halloween, but I was thinking about it today (while reading ghost stories), and though I would post something I wrote a few years ago in my old apartment. Enjoy.

I
There is someone on my stairs. I understand this entity is male. I noticed him last September. Just kind of a shadow, some noises going up and down the stairs. When Tyler and I started dating, he came over a few times before he said anything. He asked me if I knew there was something on my stairs. I never said anything to anyone about it before that. We just pretty much notice occasionally, but never really say anything, except an occasional hello.

We hadn’t really noticed him much after my last roommate moved out in January. We thought maybe the ghost belonged with him or something. In August, my friend’s daughter, Katie, was taking care of my dog while I was at work during the day. She would come over and watch movies and hang out. One day, when I was giving her her payment, she asked me if I knew there was a man on the stairs. Now, I have never mentioned this to her or her mom.

I asked her if she was sure that it was a man. She knew. She hadn’t seen his face, but she knew. She said he was nice, and didn’t bother her. Since then, we have noticed the shadow back on the stairs. We have even noticed Mario playing with something on the stairs. We both seem to be pretty respectful of each other’s space. He keeps to him self on the stairs, and we keep to ourselves, as well. Mario seems to be the only one that entertains him.

II
When my dad died, I had not much in the way of ghostly experiences. They have always fascinated me, but I had to live vicariously through my friends stories. While my dad was dying, he had some interesting conversations with – well, we don’t really know. Sometimes, we could tell he was talking to his dead brother, sometimes we really couldn’t even tell what he was saying. One of my favorite conversations – from his side was when he was talking and suddenly said, “George, George, George… you bulbous bastard… George W. Bush.”

Anyway, after my dad died, some weird things started happening around the house. He did die in the house. And it would make sense for him to hang around, since he had lived there for almost 30 years.

The first thing that happened was when my grandparents came down to stay for the funeral. My parents had slept in separate rooms for several years because they both tended to snore and kept each other awake. My dad slept in the master bedroom, and my mom had moved into my old room. The master bedroom was the only room with a bed big enough to hold two people, so my grandparents stayed in there. The first night they were there, my grandparents turned off the lights around 11 and went to bed. About 2 in the morning, my grandma woke my grandpa and yelled at him for not turning off the light that was over the dresser. The light switch was at least ten feet away, by the bedroom door. My grandpa remembered turning it off. It was on, and shining brightly.

The next couple of days, a few other things happened. I don’t remember the exact order of everything, but I do remember what happened. We were all standing in the kitchen, which backed up to our large family room. The family room had one light in the corner by the kitchen. I happened to be facing into the family room, when I noticed three lights flash in the air over on the other side of the room. The family room is over 20 feet long, and it was in the back in the house, so there was no chance of it being a car going by.

My dad brewed his own beer. We had cases of it out in the garage. He hadn’t had any in months, and neither had anyone else. My grandpa had one bottle while he was visiting and threw the bottle in the trash. After he left, we found an empty bottle on one of our pantry shelves. It is still in my mom’s pantry.

As I have said before, my dad almost always wore red 49er shirts. He NEVER wore undershirts. My mom was doing laundry and found my dad’s undershirt that had been on the bottom of all of his clothes in the bottom drawer of his dresser, in the laundry basket. We have no idea how it got there.

My dad was a gardener, and he knew my favorite flower was gardenias. I had a skirt that had giant gardenias all over it. One day, I put on the skirt to wear to work. Suddenly, I smelled gardenias. Where there weren’t any. For the entire ride to work. And for about 2 hours at work, until I asked someone if they smelled it as well. No one else could smell it. It suddenly went away.

We had trouble at some point remember what my dad looked like when he was well. I think that sometimes my dad communicated to me through my dreams. I actually had a billboard in a dream that kept saying not to worry, that he loved me. Mom slowly had him show up in her dreams. First, as a floating head, then, slowly his body would start materializing.

The best and perhaps most “chilling” story happened to my mom when she got home from work one day. My mom promised my dad that she would retire from work once he died. She couldn’t do it quite yet. So she went back to work. My dad would always be waiting for my mom and call out to her, “Hi! How was your day?” Almost before she could even make it to the door.

So, she gets home a few weeks after he died and the phone is ringing as she walks in the door. She answered it to a lot of static, like a cell phone with bad reception. For some reason, she felt she should stay on the line. She said hello again, and heard “hi.” Then she heard amidst the static, “where have you been?” She told the phone that she had been at work. The phone didn’t say anything back for a while. Then it said, “I miss you.” She said it back. Then it said, “I love you.” She said it back. The phone faded to more static and then went dead.

She called me at work to ask if I had called. Nope. She tells this story better than me and gives everyone chills when she tells it.

The only other thing I can think of is when we were getting ready to move. We had a gate that locked from the inside and outside. The day before we moved, the “doorknob” fell out of the gate into my hand. The people that were moving into the house, were a woman and her kids after a bad divorce. She wanted to be able to keep her husband out and the gated opening was a good selling point. We were able to replace the doorknob before she moved in. She told us that she has felt a protective energy ever since she moved in.

We haven’t really had many “dad” experiences since moving, other than little dreams, and the hummingbird incident. But he is still always on our minds, and we hope he has moved on but is still watching over us.

III
About 10 years ago, a friend of mine passed from drowning. We hadn't spoken in a couple of years, but we had been really good friends for a while before that. A mutual friend of ours was in the Air Force, working on Air Force One. He lived just outside DC and a couple years later invited me to come and visit him. It was the first time since the death of our friend that we had seen each other. We were both really excited.

I flew out to see him, with my best friend – because he worked for the airlines, so I was able to get first class. He got back on the plane after he got me there. I met my friend a few minutes later. We went back to his town home and he introduced me to his girlfriend at the time. We stayed up and talked for hours that night. His girlfriend worked the graveyard shift and he worked early in the morning.

The next morning, I heard him leave for work. A few minutes later, I heard knocking on the wall next to the bed I was sleeping in. On the other side of the wall was an office-type room with only a couch and a computer in it. I thought my friend had maybe forgotten his keys and couldn't get back in. I moved toward the stairs and the knocking stopped. I went back to bed, and the knocking started again, this time right on the window of the room I was in – on the second floor.

When his girlfriend came home from work, I told her what happened. She said that similar reports have happened from other people when they have stayed there. There was no “real” explanation. They ended up telling me about some other weird stuff that had happened in their house – mostly in the kitchen, involving the lights.

The second night, I could have sworn that I heard our deceased friend talking to me, and being quite prominently in my dreams. I told my friend about this the next day, and he said that happens to him quite often.
When I went home, I felt like I had taken this entity with me for some reason. A few strange things happened at home. I would be sleeping and I would wake up to use the restroom in the night, and the bedroom door would just magically be closed when I got back. When I opened the door, the radio was on. Then I heard a voice say, “Hi, Jen. How ya doin'?” I am pretty sure that was the extent of it, but it was weird to me.

IV
My mom tells me this story: When I was a baby, she was pretty sure that we lived in a haunted house. I would be in my crib and she would hear me talking (baby talk) for about an hour before she got up. She swore that I was talking to someone. She would come home from work at midnight and my dad would leave for work at 4 am. After he would leave, she said the dog would start hiding under the bed and whining. Then the bed would start to move across the room. Not far, but it moved enough to freak her out.

We all have weird experiences, but who knows what they really are? Electro-magnetic impulses? Dead people in limbo? I don't think anyone knows for sure, but it sure makes for interesting conversation.

44 Things

Learn 44 things about your friends, and let them learn
44 things about you! I tag anyone who is reading this to post it on their blog!

1. Do you like blue cheese? I LOVE Bleu Cheese especially with bacon

2. Have you ever smoked? Unfortunately yes.
3. Do you own a gun? No, and I'm pretty sure that I don't ever want to.
4. What flavor Kool-Aid was your favorite? Cherry or fruit punch

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? Yes, yes I do. But then, you would, too.

6. Do you eat hot dogs?Very very rarely.
7. Favorite Christmas movie? Elf, Bad Santa and A Christmas Story
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Coffee, tea or the occasional Diet Coke.
9. Can you do push ups? I haven't tried lately, so, probably not.

10. What's your favorite piece of jewelry? My engagement and wedding rings.

11. Favorite hobby? I'm still working on making more hobbies, so I am not sure yet.
12. Do you have A.D.D.? Quite possibly. At least I know that I have a really short attention span.

13. What's one trait you hate about yourself? The overall health of my body.

14. Middle name? Lisa
15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment? I want to finish my phone work right now, I want to get started on that hutch, and I have to clean the kitchen – something smells bad in there.

16. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink? Crystal Light, Diet Coke and Coffee
17. Current worry? Getting a job and my fertility.
18. Current hate right now? My ovum

19. Favorite place to be? In my husband's arms or having a warm cuddle with my puppy.
20. How did you bring in the New Year? By sleeping.

21. Where would you like to go? Somewhere, anywhere. I'd love to visit friends old and new, and different countries.

23. Do you own slippers? Yes, but where they are, I haven't a clue.
24. What color shirt are you wearing right now? Black

Where is 25?

26. Can you whistle? Yes, yes I can.
27. Favorite color? Pink and Purple

28. Would you be a pirate? Oh hell, yeah! If for nothing else, but the costumes!
29. What songs do you sing in the shower?Usually Blister in the Sun. I have no idea why.
30. Favorite girl's name? Natalie Trianna

31. Favorite boy's name? Randy Thundercleese

32. What's in your pocket right now? Some change, some dollar bills and a doggie poop bag.

33. Last thing that made you laugh? My dog.

34. Best bed sheets as a child? Blue and red stripes and Bambi. I think I had some Bugs Bunny, too.

35. Worst injury you've ever had? Let's not go there.

36. Do you love where you live? Until yesterday, when Tyler's bike got stolen.
37. How many TVs do you have in your house? 4
38. Who is your loudest friend? Ha ha ha! ME!

39. How many dogs do you have? Just my baby, Mario.

40. Does someone have a crush on you? I hope my husband does.

41. What is your favorite book? Really, you want me to narrow it down? 5 bookshelves - you do the math.
42. What is your favorite candy?Just about anything – come on, I'm a diabetic!

43. Favorite Sports Team?49ers, Lakers. I draw the line there.

44. What song do you want played at your funeral? Ooooh, Terry, that was a good idea – a roast! There are so many songs that I would want to use – but I trust in someone to be a good DJ and play the music that I like. Shit, I did the ones in my family.

My Friends

I wrote this originally for my Myspace blog, after some heated debate and un-friending happened between all people that I know. No one unfriended me, but there were some pretty heated words written. I needed them all to know how I felt about our friendships and our lives. Here is what I wrote:


Yep, I stole that from McCain - the line that I liked least that he used... even more than "But I was a POW!"

Anyway, I realize that many of us don't have the exact same beliefs, we don't have the same political party or religion.


I believe very much what I believe. I hope that you don't think that I have been shoving it down your throat. All I wanted was to encourage everyone to vote. I made it clear who I was voting for, but I tried not to get in anyone's face to try to change their minds. I hope that I succeeded in that.


I am very very happy that Obama won. I again have hope for the world, and for my life. I understand, to a degree, why the republicans and independents would be upset and saddened that their candidate didn't win. But the amount of back tracking and shit pulling that I have been seeing is killing me. Sometimes, even though I am pretty sure none of the outbursts are directed at me, I take them personally. I voted what I thought best for me and my country. Anyone who knows me knows how I was raised. You already know what I think. You know how I feel. Please stop telling me what an idiot I am or my candidate and the future president is. It hurts me to think that my "friends" would think that about me, and continue to pretend to be my friend.


If you are on my friend's list, there is a reason: I consider you my friend. And there is a reason for that. Whether it be because I love to talk to you about anything, I like your taste in music, I worked with you and we had a good time. Or because we both like to play Guitar Hero. Chances are, it has nothing to do with politics or religion. If you ever tried to push your religion on me, you probably didn't stay my friend for long. If you tried to argue your politics with me and got so angry with me that you couldn't speak and could not just sit and listen to my views and try to understand them, and maybe explained why you felt the way that you felt; maybe you are still my friend. I will not stand for racism, bigotry, or terrorism amongst my friends.


I hope you understand why you are my friends, and respect that fact. There is a huge difference between teasing me about what I believe and telling me how stupid I am while the spit is flying out of your mouth and you face turns red. We can just agree to disagree. If you no longer want to be friends with me because of my beliefs, let me know - un-friend me, whatever. But let me know why first. I'd like to know who to not contact ever again. And grow up.


Please respect my feelings and I will respect yours. I will tease you good naturedly about your politics, but I will never NEVER tell you that you are so wrong that I can't stand to be around you.


Thank you.